Coming in February: Weird Observances

February is more than just a short month centered around buying your loved one some bling to get a little action. It’s got many, many other useless, made-up holidays too. Mark your calendars, truckers!

Strange and Useless February Observances

Month Long
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Beans Month
International Expect Success Month
International Hoof Care Month
Jobs In Golf Month
Pull Your Sofa Off the Wall Month (pairs with National Coin Finding and Left Sock Finding Day)
Spunky Old Broads Month (Hi, mom!)
Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month
Exotic Vegetables Month (Timmy, there are kids starving in Asia. Eat your Romanescu broccoli puffs!)

Week Long
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Feb. 5 – 11: Dump your Significant Jerk Week
Just Say “No” to Powerpoint Week

Feb. 7 – 14: Love Makes the World Go Round, but Laughter Keeps Us from Getting Dizzy Week (Winner of the Most Useless contest, and winner of the Longest-titled Week Long Observance contest)

Feb. 14 – 21: National Nestbox Week

Feb. 19 – 25: Build a Better Trade Show Image Week

Feb. 24 – 26: Texas Cowboy Poetry Week

Feb. 27 – March 3: Telecommuter Appreciation Week (Winner of the Least Likely to Be Observed by Truck Drivers contest)

Day Long
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Feb. 1st: Car Insurance Day (Because of so much distracted driving, now needs observance more than ever)
Hula in The Coola Day

Feb. 2nd: Working Naked Day (We thought long haul truckers did this normally everyday…)
Marmot Day

Feb. 4th: Liberace Day (How is this guy still so popular??)
Ice Cream for Breakfast Day

Feb. 5th: World Nutella Day (We endorse this, Nutella is very tasty)

Feb. 7th: Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day

Feb. 9th: Extraterrestrial Visitor Day

Feb. 11th: Pro Sports Wives Day (They have it so rough, they really DO need their own special day. Poor babies.)

Feb. 12th: Darwin Day (more on that later)
World Marriage Day (Also interesting that this falls on the same days as the Darwin Awards.)

Feb. 15th: National Gum Drop Day

Feb. 18th: Cow Milked While Flying in an Airplane Day
Pluto Is a Planet Day (This is now being argued again by the world’s top astronomers, because new studies show that Pluto has both a moon and a bit of an atmosphere.)

Feb. 22nd: Inconvenience Yourself Day (Why else would you drive a truck if you didn’t like to be inconvenienced?)

Feb. 23rd: Diesel Engine Day
Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day

Feb. 25th: International Sword Swallowers Day (Uhhhhh, pass. Jokes are too easy and sleazy.)