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Reddit Asks Police Officers For Funny Stories


shutterstock_131453660We stumbled onto a little pile of gold last Thursday on reddit. The thread started with an excellent question, ‘Police of reddit, what is the funniest thing someone you are arresting has said?’ We’ve selected a few of the best stories just for you, but you’ll have to check out the thread for yourself to read all the hilarious mishaps. – Or better yet, to add a story of your own!

Here is a list of our favorites:


  • When the cops arrested the guy who mugged a friend of mine, he said, “Officer, you got the wrong guy. I don’t rob people, I sell drugs.”


  • Had a guy refuse to do a field sobriety test because he said he had a medical condition that prevented him from doing it properly. When asked what the condition was he said “I wont be able to do it properly because I’m way too drunk”. Made my paperwork easy.


  • Yeah, DUIs tend to talk way too much. The most common problem is that when asked if they’ve been drinking, they are always half honest and say, “Just a few.” Yeah, like that’s not gonna get you a field sobriety test.
  • But the best client I had was a guy who, when asked how much he’d had to drink, said, “Too much!”


  • My stepdad was pulled over by the cops once when my brother and I were in the car (I was five, he was two). My brother wasn’t in a car seat for some reason and of course the first thing the officer says when he sees this is, “How old is your son?”
  • “He’s four,” says my stepdad, four being the legal age to not be in a car seat in that state.
  • “No he’s not, he’s two-and-a-half!” I really prided myself on being helpful and specific when answering questions.


  • Prosecutor here. I currently have a case where the police officer approached a suspicious car, opened the door, and said, “What are you doing?” The Defendant responded “Drugs!”

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