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Trucker Funnies


By: C.L. Miller

There is a one-man stand-up Trucker Comedy Club on the road, somewhere, and we have had the pleasure of crossing paths with him twice. The first time was a year ago in Omaha. A bunch of us were sitting at the counter in the truck stop, holding on to the sides of our chairs so we wouldn’t fall off from laughing. I will share a few of The Court Jester’s stories:

A Driver was on an interstate and somehow missed a turnoff to an open scale. Since most of us have done that, with all intentions to be compliant, we were already grinning. The state Highway Patrol came in pursuit. After a few minutes of negotiating, the Driver was instructed to get in line behind the officer and “stay with me, no matter what else goes on.” As the two vehicles were backtracking to the scale, another truck (heading the opposite direction) also went past the scale offramp. The officer immediately swung a sharp u-turn across the median. You guessed it — the Driver followed the instructions he had been given. The officer was not amused. We listeners were laughing with tears streaming.

A Student was driving while Trainer was in the bunk. The truck was making some odd movements and Trainer opened the sleeper curtain to inquire if there was a problem. To his surprise, no one was in the Driver’s seat! He looked around and saw Student in the second seat. He had put the truck on cruise control, attached a bungee cord, and was steering from the passenger side. His reason: He was hungry and wanted to relax a bit over his sandwich and soda. Not surprisingly, Student had been with ten separate companies and still had not completed his training time. Now it was eleven.

Our next encounter was just a few weeks ago and he was still in fine form.
Jester tends to dress a bit better than the average Driver and is occasionally mistaken for a company employee when he is at a customer. A while back another Driver kept questioning him about the procedure for docking his own truck. All of Jester’s attempts to explain he wasn’t the person to ask were going nowhere. After several minutes Jester finally told the other Driver to drive his truck around the back of the building, take the gravel road to the edge of the property, and wait for further instructions. Two hours later the other Driver came back to the building, a bit annoyed at being left out of the process. Jester just shrugged and said, “You kept asking me what I wanted you to do, so I told you.”

I figure it this way. If we can’t laugh every day, we need to find another Life.


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