The Funnies

With DOT regulations, fuel prices and high tolls, who couldn’t use a good laugh? Check out some of the best trucking jokes.

*As a trucker pauses for a red light, a four wheeler with a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Carla and you are losing some of your load.” The driver ignores her and proceeds on down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the blonde catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Carla, and you are losing some of your load!” Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says “Hi, my name is Carla, and you are losing some of your load!” When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car, He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says… “Hi, my name is Joe. It’s winter in New Mexico, and I’m driving the SALTTRUCK!”

 *What Do A Freightliner & A Test-Tube Baby Have In Common?

They Are Not Peterbilt.

*An old trucker that died and went to heaven was standing at the pearly gates with Saint Peter and there sat the prettiest fleet of Petes that he had ever seen. He asked how do you get to drive one of them Petes?

Saint Peter says we dont run them we get all kinds of drivers but we haven’t got the first dispatcher.

*While driving along the back roads of a small town, two novice truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11’3″. They got out and measured their rig, which was 12’4″ high…”What do you think?” one asked the other. The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. “Not a cop in sight. Let’s take a chance!”

*How Do You Make A Million Dollars In Trucking?

You Start With Two Million!

*A young kid starting his first job as a waiter in a diner has a big trucker come in and sit down at the counter and order, The trucker says “Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights.” Bewildered the kid goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, “I think this guy’s in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!” The cook says, “He wants 3 Flapjacks and 2 eggs sunny-side up.” The waiter then takes a bowl of beans to the driver. He looks at it and growls, “What’s this? I didn’t order this!” The kid tells him, “The cook says that while you’re waiting for your parts you might as well gas up while your waiting!”

*An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man’s milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man’s plate before joining the others at the counter.

Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his moneydown, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, “Not much of a man, was he?”

The waitress replied, Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!

*A truck driver starts truck driving school. The instructor asks him this question “Your driving down a steep mountain and your brakes fail do you A) Start blowing your horn and hope everyone gets out your way till you can get to the emergency truck ramp. B) Cram your transmission into a lower gear and hope the engine slows you down. or C) Try to jackknife your semi hoping that going sideways will slow you down.

The Trainee thinks for a moment and shouts out D!

The instructor says “D? I didn’t give you the option of D! What is D?”

And the trainee reply’s wake up my co-driver cuz he has never seen a wreck like this!

Sources: CDLLife readers, Trucker’s Report and i10 Trucking.

Do you have a joke you want to share with us?