Reddit Asks Police Officers For Funny Stories


  • Cop here. I arrested a guy for DUI last year. He blew somewhere in the mid .20’s so he wasn’t even close to legal. He pissed his pants in the backseat of the black & white on the way to the station – he wasn’t scared or anything; just really drunk. So when we get to the station I get him out of the back seat and notice his pants are soaked. I said something like, “Oh man, did you piss yourself in the car? Why didn’t you tell me you needed to go?” He said very sincerely, “It’s ok, I kept it all in my pants, brother.”
  • Maybe you had to be there but I thought his drunk logic was great. My partner and I quote him all the time.


  • A close family friend is a homicide detective and he told me a story once about an arrest he made back in the 90’s. He responded to a call about an armed robbery and shooting at a convenience store, and when he got there the witnesses told him that the shooter had just ran into some nearby woods. At this point it was well after 11pm and nearly completely dark outside, but he proceeded into the woods to find the shooter. He couldn’t see well through the dark, but soon he noticed some strange red blinking lights moving sporadically close to the forest floor. So, he followed the lights and found the shooter hiding in some brush. Dude was wearing those light-up shoes that blink every time you take a step. Gotta love the 90’s.


  • Pulled over a guy in a supercar.. to this day I’m not sure what it was but it was some type of Ferrari.
  • As I got up to it… it had a bumper sticker that said “my other ride is your mom”
  • Guy was 70… wearing a viking helmet and asked for a ticket to put it on his wall next to his others.
  • I couldn’t stop laughing and just walked away.


  • My older brother was pulled over for speeding. Went through the usual license, insurance, registration deal. My brother sneaks in an extra card along with all his official documents. The cop starts to walk away gets half way back to his card and starts laughing uncontrollably. Walks back to my brother cars and hands him everything back along with his monopoly get out of jail free card. Cop let him totally off the hook. EDIT : Spelling


  • Got caught on the outskirts of town by a police officer, was probably doing around 90 in a 55. Didn’t try to run, just pulled over as soon as he pulled on to the highway with his lights on. No sense in even trying to talk my way out of it, I knew this was a ticket or worse.
  • So I decided to have a little fun. I remembered a joke from college and me, being the smartass 20ish year old I was, just went with it.
  • I rolled my window down in advance, and had my paperwork ready. As soon as he leaned down I offered my stack of papers and in my best voice said, “I SWEAR SHE LOOKED EIGHTEEN OFFICER!!!”
  • Time just froze for a moment. The officer, his eyes behind his silvery dark brown shades just stared at me while I held out my documents and put on my best shit-eating grin. It seemed like forever before he quietly took the stack of papers from my hand and, without a word, turned and started walking back to his car.
  • I shook my head in total disgust trying to figure out exactly what had motivated me to pull that stunt when I happened to glance in my side mirror: The cop was visibly laughing his ass off, his hand stifling the noises that were coming out of his mouth. I took a big breath and relaxed. Maybe I was going to live through this after all.
  • After what seemed like an eternity (I had a clean record back then), the officer approached the side of the car, handed my documentation back to me, then said, “Son, slow the f*** down.”
  • “Yes sir. I will sir.”
  • I drove off and kept it right at the speed limit for the rest of the trip.